Can Forgiveness Heal Your Body?

         

  

           We have spent weeks discussing the best moves to make for your physical health- what to eat, how to move and the best vitamins to take. So, this week lets discuss your mental health, and more specifically the importance of forgiveness.
           

You may be asking, why in the midst of a health marathon, are we discussing forgiveness? What could this possibly have to do with feeling better and reaching my peak health? You may be surprised to know, but a lot.

            One thing I want to mention before we dive deep into forgiving someone who has hurt you or done you harm; forgiveness is for you it is never for the other person. I think we have all had someone in our lives say or do something that has stung us so deeply that we feel as if we never may recover, that this will leave a scar on our character for the rest of our lives. This is not to absolve someone of their wrong doings or to allow them back into our lives in the degree to which they formerly were. This is to bring inner peace and realignment to ourselves so we can heal further.

            The Mayo Clinic states forgiving someone and releasing burdens can actually lower your blood pressure and heart health, less anxiety and stress, better self-esteem, fewer depression symptoms and a stronger immune system (see last week’s blog why this is so important!!).

            Years ago, I had a mentor whose husband had cheated on and left her for another woman. She was broken hearted and for the next 20 years held hatred for both her ex-husband and his wife; ruining relationship after relationship in her own life and had terrible hip problems for decades. She said one day she woke up and was so tired of being angry and mad for being cheated on she decided to just forgive him and move on with her life. At 50 years old, she decided to let the past go, and the craziest thing happened, her hip literally stopped aching. She said what once hurt her to walk upstairs, she was now able to go dancing with her new boyfriend and was happier than she’d been in years.

Forgiving Herbs

 

            Much of true healing lies in the power of taking responsibility for your own life and your own health. As easy as it is to play the victim card, to blame the world for what it has done to you, it will never lead to having a truly happy and fulfilled life. Yes, bad things happen and yes, people do terrible things to us. No matter the injustice served, we are the only ones responsible for how we respond to these situations. You are allowed to be hurt, and you are allowed to cut people out of your life who take advantage of you. But if you want to have true mental health, you are not allowed to blame them for destroying your life, for making you feel bad, or any other nonsense. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness.

            If someone hurts you, take the time to process these emotions, but don’t live in the emotions. Cut them out of your life so they can’t hurt you again, but don’t hold that hurt up on so high of a pedestal that you cut out other amazing things from coming into your life. We all know someone (or maybe we are that someone) that has, say, been hurt in a relationship and instead of forgiving the person or the situation and moving on, they forever project one person’s wrong doings onto every single potential partner. “If one man cheated on me, they all will” kinda thing.

            If you find yourself regularly rehashing a situation where you were mistreated, take a moment and think about how you physically feel when you are replaying this memory. Are your jaw and fists clenched? Is your heart rate elevated, do you find your blood to be boiling? Do you find once you start thinking about this that you can’t let it go for the rest of the day and it puts you in a foul mood? Or do you just find yourself so sad that you feel depressed? I say this with love, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS DOING TO YOUR BODY?! Allowing that much anger or sorrow to run through your veins is raising your heart rate, it’s controlling your moods, and I guarantee you it’s affecting the relationships around you.

            This may take time and a serious amount of self-awareness you were not prepared for. You may find you have been in the wrong too. But guess what, that is okay too. So much of forgiving someone else is forgiving ourselves too. Giving ourselves the gift of forgiveness for allowing us to be in that situation or date someone we know wasn’t good for us is all a part of the healing process, but an incredibly important part of it. Once you forgive yourself, it is honestly easier to forgive someone else too. (One thing I would like to add, unless someone has specifically asked you for this forgiveness, do not call them up and tell someone you forgive them. This is for you and you alone. They need not be a part of it and there is no reason to bring up the past with someone who is no longer in your life.)

Do yourself a favor and LET. IT. GO.